Wellspring UMC; Last Sunday here; June 22, 2008: “I Will Not Let You Go”:

-Romans 5: 1-8; Genesis 32: 22-32

I’ve told Teresa, “When I die, read this story at my funeral and sing my favorite hymn, # 386.” It may not be a word of comfort for some, but it testifies to what faith is to me – wrestling. If you haven’t figured it out after 5 years, to me faith, living life as a follower of Christ, is well-described as a wrestling.

All the time we battle with the voices in our heads and those around us – some begging us to settle for the status quo while others call us to dream dreams. Some echo the voices and teachings of parents while others urge us to do the opposite. There’s the inner voice that calls us to live for ourselves versus the voice of Christ which calls us to live for others AND ourselves. There is even the struggle to accept the gift of salvation. After all, in a society built upon individual success, it’s hard to live into the truth that we are not saved by what we have done or could ever do, but by what Christ has done for us. Life, faith – it is a wrestling.

I’ve always been fascinated with this story of Jacob and his wrestling. We don’t know if he wrestles a man, an angel, or God, but Jacob pours his very soul into the battle so that he might come to some sort of resolution through the encounter. Jacob, wrestles all night. He wrestles on even after his hip has been put out of joint. Old Jacob will not give up, even after the angel, the man, God, whoever he was, says, “Let me go, for the day is breaking.”

Instead Jacob says, “I will not let you go...I will not let you go, until you bless me.” Jacob receives a blessing and a name change because of his efforts, and at the end of the encounter he limps away, thankful that he’s seen God face to face and that his life has been preserved. Life is a wrestle, and though the wrestle can lead to a limp, if it’s a wrestle with God, it leads to a blessing.

As I reread these verses, I found myself drawn to the phrase,“I will not let you go.” Often we hear these words in a religious context and automatically assume that the words are spoken by God. “I will not let you go. I will not leave you orphaned. I will not abandon or forsake you.” While is it true that God never leaves us, and that this is foundational to our faith, in this setting, these are not God’s words. Instead, they are Jacob’s words. He knows God will always hold onto him, but he desires to prove to God and himself that even in the hardest of times, he will hold onto God. Jacob does hold onto God, and in the end is changed forever, the result, a blessing that would affect his ancestors.

On this last Sunday of my pastorate here, I wonder if there are those of us here who are wrestling with God right now. I know over the last couple of months I’ve wrestled, and I’ve been a part of numerous conversations which indicate that at some level all of us seem to be wrestling. We’ve been asking questions, hoping for and wondering about the future. Some have been wrestling with the cabinet’s invitation to me, with my acceptance to go, and with God’s call for this change. Some wonder what things will look like next week, or in a few months, and what this all means corporately and individually. We’re wrestling, and though it may be disconcerting, that’s a good thing, because through the wrestle, in the midst of the wrestle, God’s change will come. Though we may feel like we are left limping, the end result will be a blessing.

I never was a wrestler in high school, but boy do I remember watching them practice! They ran circles around my football buddies and me, and even worse, they were in those nasty, sweat producing, plastic shirts; always doing push ups and pull ups and sit ups and neck bridges. They worked and worked and worked, and I felt exhausted just watching them.

I had a lot of respect for the discipline and work they put into their sport, because I watched more than one of my wrestler friends grow into amazing people. Their tenacity, determination, and discipline brought out aspects of human nature that taught them that they could do things they never thought possible, and in fact, whether they won or lost their matches, when they put in the effort and did their best, they were blessed.

Jacob the wrestler said to God, “I will not let you go. I will wrestle out a blessing from this. I will persevere. I will work and grunt and give every ounce I can. I will become all that God expects of me, so that I might fully receive all that God desires for me.”

Wrestling – Jacob and a long line of the faithful knew and lived by the truth that wrestling is a way of life. It’s the way of faith. They witness to the fact that life is not always easy, and in fact, the true answers and lessons in life come through the struggles; the blessings come when we wrestle through, rather than avoiding or settling in. It is the acknowledgment that the struggle can be the means to being taught, shaped, and nurtured in the ways of God. Wrestling through is the way in which we have our eyes and hearts opened to God’s movement and desire for our lives. Wrestling through may leave us marked, but it also leads to blessings.

As I reflect upon where this congregation has come from, I am amazed at the blessings that have come through some difficult situations and decisions made. We’ve had to make hard decisions with staffing, difficult struggles for discerning direction and vision, and even wrestled a bit over carpet color, stained glass windows, and how best to organize the church. And yet, we didn’t shy away from such things. Instead, we worked them through, listening to and respecting one another, then tried to follow God’s will. We’ve wrestled and pushed and pulled and struggled, and God has been with us.

In looking ahead, there are major decisions to be made as well. Structural issues pertinent to this physical building are before you. A decision on whether to invest in land next door is coming. Follow through on the vision to care as Jesus cares for children/youth, mission/outreach, and discipleship/leadership will need to be lived out. All of which are vital to Wellspring’s future.

More timely, there will be wrestles for many as Pastor Eddie comes in. Some will compare him to me. Some will wish for the past. Some will wonder about the future. Some will want to walk away, and some will follow through on that desire. Some will want me to come back for baptisms or weddings, which I cannot do. There are wrestles in the days ahead, and yet I know and you know, that it is by holding on tight to God and going through the wrestles together, that God’s blessings will come.

Jacob, if you remember was not the nicest person in the Bible. He was in fact, a liar, cheat, and trouble maker. In the early years he didn’t wrestle much over his faith. Instead, he was more interested in getting the upper hand over his brother. He finagled his older brother Esau out of Esau’s rightful birthright and the blessing of the father usually reserved for the oldest son. He focused on himself, and quite honestly, it got him what he wanted, but did not fulfill the will of God.

However, selfishness caught up with him, and Jacob was forced to run into exile. He was sent out into the wilderness to fend for himself, and there in that place, he learned a few things. After many years and a few marriages, Jacob realized that he had to make amends with his brother. He admitted that he could no longer run from the things he feared, but he had to face up to them. So he sent messengers (bogged down with presents) to Esau with a message that he’d like to talk. Esau responds by bringing an army of men. Jacob doesn’t know what to do! He believes Esau has come for revenge. And here is where we enter the story.

Jacob goes to sleep and the wrestling begins. The nightmare that his life has become, the fear of the unknown, the uncertainty of his future goes with him into his sleep, and it brings a wrestling with God. He has two choices, fight or flight, and for the first time in his life he chooses to fight. So he scraps and pulls and struggles to receive a blessing from all that he’s going through. He won’t settle for a pat answer or an easy way out. He’ll not settle for second best or a mediocre faith. He’ll not just live life under his terms, but he fights to live life under GOD’S terms. “I will not let you go,” he says to God. He will NOT take the easy road.

When we think about the times in life that we’ve grown the most; the times when we’ve discover new possibilities or gained insights; times when we’ve had revealed to us God’s touch; when along our faith journey we’ve received deep, meaningful truths, my guess is that those times have come through wrestling, not turning away. We experience growth and insights, receive God’s touch and discover God’s truths, when we’re willing to stick to it and put in the effort to wrestle out God’s blessing from it. Faith is a wrestle, but a wrestle that can lead to great blessings.

All of life is a wrestle, and as I prepare to move on to a new place in service to Christ, I invite you to not just think about that, not just try to remember it, but I invite you to wrestle out blessings from God in your life, and wrestle out blessings from God for this Church. For it is only through the wrestling, the perseverance, the holding on to God with all our might, that we are able to receive the blessings of the God who loves us and wants what’s best for us. Jacob said, “I will not let you go,” and we are invited to do the same.

I leave you today with a simple invitation -- wrestle out the blessings God desires to give you in the days and years ahead. Wrestle out a blessing for yourselves individually and for Wellspring. In doing so, I pray it will be a reminder that it was not only God who says, “I will not let you go,” but Jacob did as well.

As God continues to work in our lives, may we all be so bold and faithful as to say to God in the midst of the wrestle, “I will not let you go,” then do it. In doing so we will receive the blessings that come, and God’s will and way will be ours. Amen.